i don’t know about the rest of you…but i’ve had it! what is most frustrating to me is maintaining this unconditional, i want everyone else to be happy, everything happens for a reason, it all works out in the end BULLSHIT. if i hear that one more time from my mother…jebus! but really…where is the line between being open and being foolish? how do you know what is worth taking a risk for and what is delusional? it’s impossible to say. i guess the only thing i can hang my hat on is “if it makes you feel bad….STOP”. just stop. okay…saying STOP is one thing…IMPLEMENTATION another. and i’ll tell you why. it’s this little monster of a thing that has the power to overtake all reason and mental stability and it’s a little tiny word that is trying to prove it has a big dick…EGO. like the guy driving the camaro revving his engine at me…i am just sure he’s got 8 inches…i mean…he’s got so much to say. anyways…the ego will make us do foolish, foolish things…like dig small holes until they become very, very big indeed. makes us keep talking when we should just shut up, makes us keep probing when we should RETREAT, RETREAT, RETREAT. but its simple…we all want to be loved…we all want to be chosen…and so we keep trying for that. so…here is a question that will help with that…”what is the absolute worst thing about not being chosen or loved by this person”…really? who wants to be with someone who isn’t making them feel absolutely fabulous or adored or appreciated. that only eats away at our core and misleads us into thinking we’re not those things. and that is OUR responsibility to remember that…not anyone else’s. so the bottom line, whether you are living with love (or not) is that if we are aligned with our core beliefs…if we do things when we feel good and stop doing things when they feel bad, if we don’t have loads of guilt (a trigger to tell us we’re doing something we don’t feel good about), if we’re NOT crying, if we’re sleeping well, then we know we are at peace with ourselves…and remember that we already have everything we need. When we are this way…we are enchanting because we can want and desire people without needing them. Now that is power…and that will shut that little whore of an ego-dick up for good. Now get on it! Here’s a great quote my mom sent me:

“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did”

If what you’re doing isn’t working…what is the harm in trying something new? It’s hard to break a pattern, but it’s harder to stay unhappy.