Uh...if this isn't the damn truth

What's the 411?

What is up with myself...I swear I drive myself totally crazy. If I could find a picture of a donkey...I would post it...because that's what I feel like today.

Why do we so often convince ourselves that we want things that we don't really want because they don't seem to want us? How do we lose our ability to make rational, wise choices when it comes to matters of the heart...or more honestly in this case, matters of the ego. It's such a fruitless cycle. I find that I, like so many of my girlfriends, am always convincing myself that I feel this way, or that way, about someone or something without really having all the information to make an informed judgement. I jump headfirst into a situation without really know what I truly want from it. From there comes endless confusion. From there, I always seem to assign more meaning to something that I really don't know anything about. I find this endlessly annoying...I'm annoying myself. What I mean by this is that I sometimes find myself living beneath myself.

What you think you deserve for yourself is probably all that you will get. The message then? Get your ass in check and recognize your own gifts, creativity, and value. Dream big...want more...want the best...keep high standards...and above all...be true to yourself. Being true to yourself is tricky because that means that you really have to know who you are, what you want, and where you want to be going.

I know this...I want the Greatest Good...I want things that are good for me, and that are on my path. I want things and people in my life that make me happy and make me feel better about myself. I want to embrace the people that are coming towards me, not going away from me. I want people in my life that want to be there and actively try to get to know me better, that actively pursue my friendship and love. These are the people that I should give my heart to, and that is my intention now. That's the 411.

Will the Circle Be Unbroken???

Sometimes I wish the cycle would stop. We recreate, play out, over and over again, our same intrinsic patterns. In fairness, some patterns like kindness and generosity are blessings, but others (they don't need to be named) are useless and act as obstacles to our happiness. Obstacles we create (or recreate as it may be)...obstacles we think we have to accept. But hey...what happens when we turn to the driver of the car (the pattern) and say hey...stop the car you fucker and get out...then you just slide on over to the drivers seat, drop the cassette, and go...

That's so liberating....realizing that you don't have to be tied to your anxiety...you can choose not to worry about stupid shit.

So, the circle that is life and union, the celebration of creation...that could never be broken...it's a force that moves all things, and it's beautiful. Let the cycles that impede us be broken that the circle of life may bless!