underCURRENTS

Currents
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Under

Women are funny creatures. We have all sorts of ideas about what other people are doing and why they are doing it. And then the answer arrives: they (the people) just did what they did to piss us off! Clearly!

But seriously...men aren't like this. Men are hacked off or they're not. And when they're pissed, you know it...it's acknowledged and then it's over. It doesn't linger...you can't detect it's lingering scent...there are no smirk innuendos or subtle jabs.

Women on the other hand...holy bonkers...they can hold a grudge FOREVER! And they will. Not only that...they'll let you know it...they'll share their feelings in barely detectable, seemingly nice but actually seething tones. It's a mess. This is what me and T call "undercurrents". Trust me...they are intense.

I'm sensing some of those in our circle now and it's tough. Life is changing so dramatically for all of us. We've gone from a tribe of independent, single, fun-loving women, to a mixed bag of singles and spoken for's in less than a year. I'm telling you...this is no easy transition. It's like we've gone from Sex in the City fun to the never-ending lack of clarity Lost in no time. So we have all these hurt feeling between us and uncertainties, and still have to independently face our inner challenges and questions. So while my best friend is frustrated with me for being inconsiderate and rudely affectionate in public...I'm questioning whether or not I am truly ready for marriage and domesticity.

I don't know...maybe this is a part of life...and maybe I have to accept that transitions are hard and things dont' always go the way you want them. But still I wish that I could hold on to the camaraderie and love and support that we all had for each other just a short time ago. My girlfriends have been the heart of my world for so long and I don't want to swim away from them. Not because I'm afraid to try my flippers but because I love them...I think collectively I love them more than I could ever love any man. They are irreplaceable.